Money

Let's face it. If you want a big fat wedding of any kind, you are going to have to had rich parents or save up a lot of money over a couple of years.

What surprises me about a lot of wedding blogs/websites out there is none of them really go into in depth analysis of how much a beautiful wedding listed on the blog cost. Costings are things which engaged couples have to work out as they go along.

I looked at a lot of blogs before I actually sat down to put together a budget for my wedding. When I started researching prices for all the cool things featured on the wedding blogs it made me realise that I was going to have to be a bit more realistic about what I could have at the wedding.

Also, for things like flowers, wedding dresses etc I couldn't really find accurate quotes or information about how much people typically spent (which makes it quite hard to properly budget at the outset).

One thing I realised early on is wedding dresses are expensive and you pay for good quality material/dress structure. I have looked at dresses ranging from £500 (in the sample sales) up to £4k. My initial budget was £1600 but I have fallen in love with a dress which is £2800!! Nothing else will do really so I have decided to buy that dress. Ooops. Guess we will have to economise in other ways.

Photographers, flowers, food etc...I am still on the hunt!

Vintage country garden style vs Persian glamour

I love love love the old hazy vintage country garden style. Soft pastel colours, tea lights in jam jars

bunting

flowers in jam jars 

drinks in jam jars (i really love jam jars)

It's all very charming and quaint. Or as my Iranian granny put it, "low kelass" which means a low class. "But, Gran" said I, "it's vintagey and pretty". "Can people not afford proper glasses anymore?" Most likely not given the astronomical prices of weddings these days.

We recently went to see a beautiful Grade II listed barn in East Sussex a few weeks ago and my dad turned his nose up at it. My dad, Mr do whatever you like as long as you actually get married and you are happy on the day, declared his dislike of the whole shabby chic vibe.

Dad: "Can't you get married somewhere more...glamourous?"

Me: "Like where dad?"

Dad: "How about one of those hotels on Park Lane"

Me: "Do you have a spare £30k for the wedding??"

Iranians (or the ones I know at least) love glitz, glam, modernity and all things shiny and sparkly. 

Like

(maybe without the clashing purple and yellow)

or

(with more gold)

you get the picture. Bigger is better. Posh hotels in premier postcodes all the way. 5* Hotels represent the height of luxury for my parents' generation so this new english shabby chic thing is a bit, well, foreign!

The down side to having your wedding at a hotel, for me anyway, is you don't get exclusive use of the whole venue (unless you are willing to spend big bucks) so there are loads of randoms milling around taking photos of you. Also, most hotels have carpets in their ballrooms and I really don't like the idea of a wedding reception venue with carpet on the floor. 

The only hotel in London I would consider holding my wedding at is Claridges but there are three major flaws to my plan: a) it's expensive b) you have to use their caterers and c) they have carpet in their ballroom!

Luckily I have found a venue which ticks all the boxes; beautiful glamourous vintage shabby chic! Will post photos as soon as the date is confirmed!

Food, glorious food!

The H2B loves Persian food. The first thing we agreed on was that we would have Persian food at the wedding and lots of it. This was quite lucky as I had my heart set on serving Persian food to our guests. It was not something I was willing to compromise on.

So, first decision made was pretty easy. Surely this wedding organising would be a piece of cake? WRONG!

Problem 1: Most of the lovely venues out there have their own caterers, the majority of them don't do Persian food.

Problem 2: If they do Persian food, it would most likely be served in small portions at something extortionate like £60 - £100 +VAT per head. I am sure the food these caters cook is delicious but if you don't cook Persian food day in day out then it just isn't the same. It's hard to get some of the khoroshts (stews) right and I have been to lots of Persian restaurants in London where I haven't always been happy with the stews.

Problem 3: If you can find a venue with external caterers you get charged an arm and a leg for the pleasure of using caterers you have sourced yourself.

Problem 4: If you decided problem 3 is easier to bear that problems 1 and 2 then you have to try and find a reliable caterer who does first rate food for a reasonable price and has a public liability certificate.

We found the perfect venue who allow external caterers yipee! The fee for having external catering at the venue is quite steep (£1,500) but it's a gorgeous venue that ticks all the boxes so we will make do.

I have been to see three caters so far. One caterer quoted £18 per head. The other two quoted £30 per head for the same food. All offered varying degrees of service.

I am planning on seeing a few more and will post a list of quotes/service details once I have done the rounds.

In the meantime, this is what I planning for the menu:

Starters:

salad olivieh (potato chicken salad YUM)
mast o moosir (yoghurt with wild shalloty things)
sabzi paneer (side herbs and cheese for cleansing the system)
khashk e badejan (aubergine with a dried yoghurt thing called kashk)
mirzeh ghasemi (smoked aubergine with tomato, a shed load of garlic and egg YUUUUUUUM)
lavash (flat bread)

Mains:

Koobideh (minced kebab)
Jujeh kabab (chicken kebab marinaded in saffron and lemon juice)
Fesejan with chicken (pomegranate and walnut stew)
Ghormeh sabzi with lamb (herb stew with dried limes aaaaaaarhghghgh YUM)
zereshk polo va morgh (rice with barbaries and saffron chicken)
okra stew (vegetarian)
polo (rice for the other stuff)

Dessert:

akbar mashti (traditional saffron and rosewater ice cream with pistachio nuts and thick chunks of cream - trust me it's good)
wedding cake

and a big table piled with fruit for guests to pick at throughout the day.

I did initially want the food to be served in sharing platters for each table but I think a buffet would be more practical. It would also look quite impressive with all the food piled high and guests would be able to have a bit of whatever they want and as much of it as they want. I want them to be able to take food away with them if they want to minimise wastage.

This *may* be quite a lot of food so I may have to rethink the menu once I find a caterer.

Do you know of any good Persian caterers in London? If so, please let me know!

In the beginning.

I am Iranian (well, born and bred in England with Iranian parents). My fiance is English. I have a big family and extended family. My fiance has a tiny family. I want a vintage English country garden wedding. With a full on, traditional Persian* twist.

I knew as soon as we got engaged (ha, who am I kidding, I knew well before we got engaged!) that I wanted a big fat culture clash of a wedding. I am too English to have a full on Persian wedding and I am too Iranian to have a full on English wedding. 

I started to do research and all I could find on the numerous big wedding blogs were lots of lots of beautiful traditional/modern/vintage/stylish/eclectic British weddings. I was surprised by how few blog posts there were of mixed culture weddings or even just weddings of other cultures. I know there is already significant coverage of Asian/Jewish weddings on specialist sites but it would be nice if they were covered on the mainstream blogs as well. I love learning about different wedding traditions and I love going to them too! It makes you realise we are not all that different.

Anyways, I was searching for ideas for my Persian/English mashup and only came across a handful of blogs (this one being the most exciting: http://blog.katylunsford.com/2012/12/19/ladan-marvin-vietnamese-tea-ceremony/ - how cool does a Persian/Vietnamese wedding sound???) So, I decided to start a blog about my own wedding. I hope to cover things like food, ceremony, decorations, music and anything else I can think of as the planning goes on. 

Some of the basics about the big day: 

• We are getting married in May 2015. I would do it May 2014 if I could but we just don't have the money sadly.   
• Venue is somewhere in Surrey. More details to be revealed. 
• We are having two ceremonies - Civil and Persian :-)
• Food will be Persian

I will also share links for any other mixed culture weddings I can find. I would recommend checking out the link above.

Watch this space and get in touch if you have any ideas or recommendations! 

*I get confused between the whole Persian/Iranian label so I am calling myself/my family Iranian (because it is our ethnicity) and labelling all the weddings things as Persian because it is more a cultural thing. Probably doesn't make sense and I will forget to stick to this in later posts but just bear with, alright?